i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
