Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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