I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
