I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
