She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
