No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
