Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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