Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
