You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
