Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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