do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
