Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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(636): View more from Missouri

maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.

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(858): View more from California

Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n

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