Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
