I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
40s are totally the cure
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
