yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
