take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
