I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Where did you get a picture of my penis
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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