This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
