So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
