so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
