this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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