Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
