The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
