paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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