Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
