she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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