No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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