Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
