my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Say something about gay babies.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
