Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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