i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
