How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
