He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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