well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
