Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
