I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
