Me too!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
