my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
