Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
