Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
