You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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