Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
