Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
