Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
