First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
