You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
