I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
high people should be assigned attendants
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
