That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
