I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
