I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
