Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
