I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
