drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
