This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize