My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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