Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
