Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
