we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize