Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
