Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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