i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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