"it" just moved
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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